Sunday, November 2, 2008
Recently, questions still pop into my head on every judgement tht i hd made for myself in these couple of days. Now, i cant describe the feelings tht i hv right now when im writing this blog. Sometimes, i ever doubt myself tht did i made the right decision for everyone including myself. Currently, i cant concentrate or do anything right, like studying, reading books, watching movies, or even playing games. Wht's even worse?? i cant even laugh at some hilarious jokes from Russell Peters, Gabriel Iglesias and the late Bernie Mac. The first question tht i ask myself, "Wht is happening to me?"Actually, i dun wan to question myself too much cause i will end up in a very horrible way. I tried to remain a calm and positive thinking at all times, bt i cant stop myself from thinking about it. I thought about the reason tht i became this way- love.
There is a saying, "it took one day to know someone, one week to love someone, bt it takes a lifetime to forget someone." I tried to forget about this "love", bt i dunno why i still keep thinking about her...its nt tht we had any memories together or sth like tht, bt the images of her is printed in my brain. Her images even shown up in my dreams, leaving me encounter sleepless nights until i hv gone late for some classes last few weeks. I cant blame her for doing this cause she's innocent, and i blame for myself tht i cant drop the ball when i said to myself its over.
I thought of cutting my heart out or shoot myself in the head is the solution, bt its my insanity who whispers these kind of words to me in my head. There's onli one and effective solution to myself and tht is to give myself more time and dont try to think too much on the past eventhough i grief about it. I dun wan to whinned or nagged like an old man, i wan to keep myself mature in thinking and dun grief about the bad decisions. I know one thing for sure, even the decision tht i made is bad, it can serve as a lesson to me.
Lastly, i hope tht i can pick myself up as soon as possible and start moving forward and i hope all of my friends will do the same as well. Let us nt grief for our past and bad memories and start making our own success for our future. May God bless us all and i wish everyone hv a nice day. Peace.
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